When Helping Feels Like Hating

the Haiti Archive: Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A good night [of] sleep has been escaping me for nearly two weeks. Last night [in] the compound I [only] slept about 10 minutes at a time. The hard floor was difficult on my body but good for my spirit as I prayed for Haitians often.
[This morning] we secured three interpreters. I think they are sincere in motive. They know the area and are aware of orphanages in the area. We are to pick up paperwork from the Dominican Republic Embassy today. So after we leave the school compound we head for the Dominican Republic Embassy.
While Laura is walking toward where we think the embassy is, a man approached her about why we are here. After discovering that we are here to help orphaned children he told her about a group of people living under tarps and in tents next to his church. We go to investigate.
After walking through the court yard of the church we immediately walk into a sea of tents and tarps. The face of hunger is angry and desperate. Lord, how in all of the world will we be able to help anyone? To help one, feels like hatred to [the] masses. How and who do we choose to help?

• The need is great.

• the crowd is pressing

• the touch is pleading

• the hunger is clear

• the thirst is unavoidable

• the children are trusting

• the adults are desperate

• the aroma is death

• hope is still present, yet waning fast

• the city is in ruin, yet business continues.

• Communities are forming from under the collapsed buildings.

• There is joy and sorrow for life and death.

     Today I was blessed and yet have an aching of my heart to walk through the tent city. The tent city is filthy, yet there is an understood organization. The pastor of the church had already heard of our coming for this reason of ministry to the displaced orphan and invited us into the gates of the tent city housing approximately 2,000 people.

     The crowd is hungry, thirsty and wondering when and where help will come. They have yet to hear word about relief.

     While making arrangements with the pastor to receive seven orphans; we meet, who I am convinced, is a messenger from the Lord named Leonard. He works for the police and tells us we need to do a few other things before we could cross the border. So with great disappointment we return the orphans to the pastor so we can obtain proper documents. Disappointing but clearly the right thing to do.